I think the reason I have been thinking about it so much lately is that I am in the process of trying to buy a new home. This involves selling my current home and getting approved for a loan on the new home and numerous other details that are likely to be stressful.
As I think through the details, I find myself wondering, hoping, doubting and occasionally worrying about the outcome. I'm looking at a new construction that meets the needs of my family and community so well that I find myself getting somewhat attached to the idea of having it. Now, all of a sudden, I find myself wondering if I'm going to sell my house in time. Will I be able to sell it for enough money to cover the costs? Will I be approved for the loan on the new house? Will the new house take a lot longer to build than the builders say? Will I still have my job then? Will I have a better job? What if there is something I didn't think about, and that turns out to be a real problem with the new house? How do I know if the house will be constructed properly so that I don't have to make lots of repairs afterward. How will I be able to afford to furnish it? Do I want it so bad that God will decide to teach me a lesson in detachment by making it not work out?
I never thought I had it in me to be so disturbed by all the different possibilities of the future. I see myself needing to have more faith in God. I mean, if God doesn't want it to happen, it doesn't matter how hard I try, it won't happen. On the other hand, if God wants it to happen, then it doesn't matter how bad things look it's going to happen. So what it comes down to is that I know that God has my best interests in mind. Even so, I sometimes have a hard time having that trust. I find it interesting how easy it is for me to trust gravity, but how hard it is for me to trust the being that created gravity and makes it so trustworthy.
What exactly does it mean to have faith in God? How can I build that up and make it a stronger factor in my life? If anyone has any ideas, I would be happy to see them.